The first rays of dawn were gleaming over the horizon as Wedge sat down with his datapad and a cup of caf, enjoying the cool of the Tatooine morning before it turned into the daily blast furnace.
He took a drink from the battered cup, grimaced at the burned taste, and looked at the roster again. The memory of the previous day’s discussion with the younger man still sat uncomfortably in the back of his mind. For a guy who’s not yet twenty, Luke can be really perceptive sometimes. I’m not sure he was right, but he was more right than he was wrong.
With an effort, Wedge pushed his stewing down and focused on the task at hand, looking at the roster. Essentially, he had six pilots he was absolutely certain of: himself, Puck Naeco, Zev Senesca, Hobbie, Cesi Eirriss, and Wes Janson. Veteran Rebel pilots with plenty of flight hours, combat experience, and the durasteel core the squadron needed. Certainly, they each had their own flight styles and personality quirks, but Wedge had no doubt they’d be reliable in combat and follow orders.
Tycho Celchu, if he survived, would become that sort of pilot himself in another three to six months, though right now Wedge didn’t know what to think of the Alderaanian. He kept to himself and was about as expressive as Wedge’s battered mug. Luke had described the man as brittle, and it fit. Wedge didn’t know how to fix it, though there had been a few traces recently of Celchu’s shell cracking and allowing something of the man underneath to come out.
Karie Neth, Kit Valent, and Samoc Farr were all green pilots. There was plenty of potential in all three of them, but they required seasoning that would only be acquired through surviving.
Mara Jade was an issue all her own, as far as Wedge was concerned, though Luke’s words on that subject stung him as he considered. He’s probably right. I’ve filtered too much of my opinion about Mara through Syndulla’s protective streak, and I did a disservice to everyone that way. Though how to classify her was still a bit of a mystery; she definitely wasn’t green like the newest Rogues, but she wasn’t a seasoned veteran, either. And the Force nonsense that Luke agreed to just ignore doesn’t make it any easier.
He wished fervently, for just a moment, that he understood it.
And then there was Luke Skywalker himself, the leader of the squadron and even more difficult to define than Mara. Nineteen years old, made a commander due to his heroics at the Battle of Yavin, an Outer Rim farmer whose first time in an X-wing was maybe four months prior, and the most naturally-gifted fighter pilot Wedge had ever met. By any reasonable expectation, he should be an utterly green pilot who needed the protection of a veteran; and yet, he had flown repeatedly into ridiculous odds and came out alive with a streak of kills that would be the envy of any fighter pilot in the last twenty years. He was learning small-scale fighter tactics at a prodigious rate, to the point that Wedge, if he was feeling honest, felt a flicker of jealousy.
Wedge wasn’t feeling particularly honest right now.
Twelve pilots. Six pairs. Three flights.
He started at the top of the roster.
SKYWALKER/ANTILLES
It was tempting, in the way Puck’s jet juice was tempting. Flying with Luke in combat was exhilarating; during Skyhopper drills, he could keep up with Wedge like no one else, anticipating breaks and brackets before they were called. But like the jet juice, the downsides were extensive: too much command responsibility wrapped up in one pair where a lucky Imperial gunner could cause a leadership crisis, and too much squadron effectiveness at the point of the spear. He scrubbed it off the datapad almost immediately.
SKYWALKER/CELCHU
The Alderaanian was skilled, machine-precise while drilling. Luke could work with that and turn it into a new sort of weapon.
Of course, Luke can fly with anyone. He showed that over and over again during the drills. Is that the best way to use either Luke or Tycho?
He knew the answer to that already and scrubbed the entry off his datapad.
Okay, don’t start with Luke. Start with the rookies. He pulled two names together and nodded to himself.
CELCHU/VALENT
Tycho had been quietly mentoring Kit Valent. The rookie tended toward overthinking and spiraling; Celchu had been helping him slow down and concentrate. It gives Tycho something to think about besides Alderaan, and Kit’s been looking to Tycho for guidance more all the time. He grimaced. I’d probably like putting Kit with Hobbie better, but maybe this fixes two problems instead of one.
SENESCA/NETH
Wedge took a drink of the rapidly-cooling caf. Karie and Hobbie were too conservative during the Independence ambush, but she needs an old hand to steady her who won’t hold back while still keeping an eye on her. Zev can do that. Their Skyhopper drills weren’t phenomenal, but Karie’s best drills happened with me and Luke. She didn’t trust anyone else to be where she needed them to be, so she spent more time looking and less time flying. These two together for a couple months and Karie will know Zev is reliable. Zev will be more focused on the fight if he has a rookie wingman, too.
Four pilots assigned, eight to go. One rookie left: Samoc Farr. She’s probably the best of the rookies. He contemplated, for a moment, putting Farr on Luke’s wing. She’s good, but she wouldn’t be able to keep up when Luke gets weird. And Luke would slow down to make sure he doesn’t leave her behind. It’d be good for her but bad for Luke’s effectiveness.
He looked at the veteran list again.
Hobbie’s a cynic, but he’s a survivor. He’ll keep her alive long enough for her to grow into her talent. He frowned. Though she won’t push him to be aggressive in a fight. It’d be the same problem we had during the Independence ambush. Wedge paused, choosing to skip over Farr for a moment.
KLIVIAN/NAECO
That pairing instinctively felt better. Puck is good, better than he gives himself credit for. If he’s flying with Hobbie, he’ll have the reliability he needs to let himself get aggressive, and Hobbie can’t just sit at the back of the engagement and let others do the work because Puck won’t let him. It will push them both to be better. They’ll temper the worst impulses of the other. And yes, Puck is going to drive Hobbie up a wall. It’ll be worth it if it means they both are pushed to be better.
Hobbie might not think so, but this isn’t his decision to make.
Wedge stared at the roster. I know where the rest of this is going to go. I don’t like it. But I don’t have to like it for it to be the correct decision.
JANSON/EIRRISS
Luke had pointed out, rightly, that during the Independence engagement, Wes had taken the lead and dragged Cesi through the entire fight. But during the Skyhopper training, Eirriss had proven herself more than willing to call Janson out on his nonsense, forcing him to hold formation, to cover when she took the lead, and to provide the stability Janson needed to let himself go loose and aggressive.
He considered putting Farr with either Janson or Eirriss, then immediately scrubbed that idea by process of elimination. Putting Farr with Janson would be a disaster for the rookie, and pairing Farr with Eirriss meant Janson would end up flying with either Luke or Wedge. Luke would, of course, accept it with good grace and spend too much of his time in combat keeping Janson leashed; Wedge was certain he could fly well with him, but not while also keeping a close eye on the larger tactical fight. If I wasn’t the executive officer, it’d be fun to fly with Janson. But I have command responsibilities to keep in mind.
He considered for a moment further. I’ll make Eirriss lead for the element, too. That should help.
ANTILLES/FARR
Samoc was green, but she was the sort of rookie who’d stay on his wing and call out on comm if something happened that he missed. It was the conclusion he’d circled earlier. She was technically gifted, had good instincts, but needed seasoning. He could work with that and it wouldn’t annoy him in combat the way one of the other rookies might, and he could teach her good habits – the sort that would keep her alive when hard light started flying. And with a few months of intensive drilling, she’d learn his own quirks well enough that he could focus on the squadron’s tactical picture, not just the immediate fight.
Which leaves exactly what I would’ve avoided a week ago.
SKYWALKER/JADE
Wedge stared at his datapad and forced himself to think logically. Yes, Syndulla would hate it. Will hate it, when she hears about it. But that doesn’t make it wrong. He frowned, took a drink of now-cold caf. Luke relies on her by instinct. He’s not even aware he’s doing it unless I point it out to him. Unbidden, a memory surfaced: Luke telling Wedge in brief detail about the discussion he’d had with Mara about the Force. She won’t be dazzled by him, but she’s also willing to tell him if she thinks he’s making a mistake. His lips compressed into a tight line. And if he goes strange in a fight, she’s one of the three or four pilots in the Rogues that might actually keep up with him, or see the shape of what he’s doing and actually do something useful herself with it.
This still feels like juggling thermal detonators, though.
He put the datapad down for a moment, closing his eyes. And I have no idea if there’s something else between them, too. I assumed there was once already and was wrong.
Wedge opened his eyes and looked at the roster again. Yes, he decided. Yes, this is Rogue Squadron. And I can justify all of it.
He stood up, dumped the mug out in the sand, picked up his datapad, and headed to the mess to find fresh caf.
“You know, Jade, on your day off, you’re supposed to take the day off,” Wes Janson’s voice floated under the Skyhopper.
“Not all of us are hungover, Janson,” Mara grunted, pulling hard on the hydrospanner until she was satisfied the fastener was secure.
“No need to shout,” Janson grumbled, though his tone was more amused than annoyed.
Her smile was smug, though no one could see it. “I also like knowing the Skyhopper I’m flying tomorrow isn’t going to turn me into a smear in the desert.”
“You don’t know which one you’ll be flying.”
“Good thing I’m working on all of them, then,” she said, sliding out from under the Skyhopper on the repulsor creeper. “For some reason, I want to keep the rest of you alive, too.”
To her surprise, Janson was offering her a mug of caf. She took it, sipped it, and her eyes widened in surprise. “This is actually pretty good,” she admitted.
“Don’t get used to it. We only had a little.”
Mara took another sip. Rich, no burnt taste. “Where’d this come from?”
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” Janson said dryly.
“Try me.”
“It’s mine.”
Mara raised an eyebrow. “And who did you steal it from?”
Wes snorted. “No one. I’m from Taanab. We grow some of our own. This is the last of what I brought with me after my last trip home, over a year ago. Was saving it for a special occasion.”
“Training on Tatooine is a special occasion?”
“Recovering from a hangover on Tatooine is a special occasion.” He raised his own cup. “To surviving.”
Mara clinked her mug with his and took another sip. “I figured you’d hoard this for your partner in crime.”
Janson’s face colored. “My…what?”
“Naeco.”
Wes offered a short chuckle, his expression clearing. “Puck doesn’t appreciate caf that tastes better than burnt engine grease.”
“So what did I do to earn the caf?”
“You’re keeping us all alive?” he offered, gesturing at the Skyhopper.
It was Mara’s turn to offer a chuckle. “If it wasn’t me doing it, it’d be someone else. Maybe even you.”
“That seems reason enough.” Wes took a drink from his caf, and his eyes settled on her, as though seeing her for the first time. “Or maybe I’m curious.”
“Curiosity killed the tooka,” Mara said, her tone sharper than she intended.
Wes ignored it, sipping at his caf. “Everyone has a story,” he continued. “Lot of the Rogues don’t have much for living family anymore. I’m lucky; I’ve got family back home on Taanab, though between Arcon Multinode and the Empire I can’t exactly drop in to visit. Wedge’s parents are dead and he’s not on speaking terms with the closest thing he has to an uncle. We’re standing on our esteemed commander’s homeworld, but stormtroopers killed his family. Celchu’s whole world is gone. Naeco’s got family on Denon, but they’re Imperial loyalists so they’re not on speaking terms.” His eyes narrowed. “But what about you?”
Of all the ways Mara had considered her day might go wrong, this hadn’t been one of them. “What about me?”
“I’m pretty sure you didn’t spring from General Syndulla’s forehead full-formed. Wedge and Hobbie are terrified of her on your behalf, but you’re clearly not her kid.”
“Oh? Why are you so certain?”
“You’re not a Twi’lek, Jade. I’d have noticed.”
Something twisted in Mara’s chest. “I’m not a book for you to pick up and read, Janson.”
“No, you’re not,” Wes agreed, “but you are a Rogue. You’re one of us.” He leaned forward. “So, where are you from?”
Mara shrugged uncomfortably. “Don’t know.”
“Parents?”
“Don’t know.”
Wes studied her silently for several long heartbeats before straightening. “You really don’t know.”
“That’s what I said.” She offered the barest of shrugs. “I don’t dwell on what I don’t know. That won’t keep me alive. It won’t keep you alive. And it certainly won’t help me fly an X-wing.”
“Like you need the help.”
Mara started to reply, but was interrupted by the arrival of another pilot.
“Wes,” an irate Puck Naeco spat, “why does my pee glow in the dark?“
Janson looked up at the sky. “It’s not dark.”
“It is in the refresher!”
“That sounds like a personal problem,” Janson said affably. “Have you spoken to the medical droid?”
Mara, grateful for the interruption, moved the creeper to the next Skyhopper and slid underneath, out of sight, and began to open the belly access panel.
The twin suns had already set when Tycho slipped out of the barracks to go for a walk.
He’d barely made it twenty meters when another figure materialized from the mess, falling into step beside him.
“You don’t have to do this every night, Zev,” Tycho said quietly.
“Rule one of camp: ‘No one goes anywhere alone,’ remember?” Zev said with a trace of a smile.
“I was there when Commander Skywalker said it.”
“Then you know why I’m doing it.”
Tycho shook his head as they moved away from the dim noise and activity of the camp. The Rogues were settling in for the night, but fusion generators still hummed and droids trundled back and forth in the sand, performing maintenance and monitoring. The two men approached the loosely-defined camp perimeter and turned, walking parallel to the edge instead of crossing over.
“How do you feel tonight?” Zev asked after a while.
Tycho considered. “Numb, mostly. Last night I was drunk enough to feel something for a while. The hangover wasn’t worth it.”
Zev grunted and continued to walk, letting silence hang between them.
“How long did it take?” Tycho asked several minutes later.
“To feel normal?”
“Yes.”
Zev considered. “After Kestic Station? Three or four months before I felt more than numb. But that was when I found out it was my fault. I’d gotten sloppy and led the Empire there. Then months of guilt and anger.” He spared Tycho a glance. “The guilt is natural. But it’s not your fault.”
Tycho nodded slowly. “Easier to say than believe.”
“Yes. And I’m going to carry the guilt until the day I die.” Zev seemed to ponder for a while as they continued their slow circuit. “You’ll always carry the hurt. But not the guilt. Enough time, and your brain will admit it’s not your fault. But the anger, that’ll probably last until you die.”
“Anger is better than numb.”
“Just don’t let it burn you out.” The older man was contemplative. “The new tactics, the new doctrine. Rogue Squadron could become the best squadron in the galaxy. But it’s going to demand more from all of us to make it work, Tycho. You ran the Ralltiir simulation, right? What happened with Skywalker and Jade and Sarkli?”
Tycho nodded.
“Sarkli managed to do a lot of damage because the old three-ship element offered him room to maneuver without anyone depending on him. The new tactics are better, more effective, but there’s no room to run off and die on your own.” His smile was small. “There are people depending on us. Our wingmen. The squadron. Alderaan’s gone. Kestic Station is gone. But there are still people depending on us.”
The Alderaanian hesitated before putting the thought into words. “Dying would be easier.”
“Dying doesn’t bring back the dead. And dying now might kill people depending on us.” Zev’s voice took on a cold edge. “And I’m not lying down and dying without taking more of the Empire with me.”
Tycho recognized an echo of the sentiment in his own chest. Somewhere under the leaden, numb blanket, there was an ember of righteous fury still smoldering. “I understand that.”
“I figured you would.”
The two men continued their slow circuit of the training camp perimeter as the skies darkened and the stars began to sparkle.